Gentle soul, that loved me,
For myself, just as I am 
You gave me your love, and I gave you mine
And we vowed to grow old together.

Gentle soul, you gave so of yourself,
To work, friends, family and passions -
Your time, knowledge and talent
That others might also grow and learn.

Gentle soul: Morris dancer and musician;
Astrologer, teacher, Master Naturalist,
Kayaker, camper, Friend of Diamond Lake;
Your music and voice are now stilled.

Gentle soul, we’ll travel, plan and dream no more:
Not Australia, nor return to Africa;
Not share our first cruise or camp again
Under nature’s roof that you so loved.

Gentle soul, friend, lover, and companion;
Never more will I hold you in my arms;
Hear your kind voice or soft steps beside me
Soothing me, always.

Gentle soul, may your new journey
Be free of pain, and full of wonder.
All who knew you here are forever richer
And I, I love you, miss you, and mourn to say good-bye.

Where to begin, at the beginning I suppose.  I met Dan at our mutual friend Kurt Allen’s home at a gaming party in late February 1992.  I was immediately attracted to him and the day after the party I asked Kurt about him and if he had Dan’s phone number.  Kurt said he was the roommate of Ruth another mutual acquaintance.  Amazingly I actually called.  Using the excuse of returning a notebook of Ruth’s I went over to their house.  Dan and Ruth were getting ready to go out Contra dancing and they asked if I wanted to go along.  We all went out and at the end of the dance I asked him out on a date.

Dan told the story that when I came over and asked me if I wanted to go to contra dancing he thought there was no way I would accept (I wasn’t in very good shape even then).  Of course he didn’t know then that I had done some contra and had taught English country dancing.   During the dance he told himself that if I asked him out on a date he would say ‘no’.  He said he was amazed that when I did ask him out, ‘yes’ came out.  It was fated to be.  (Earlier that month, he had been to his annual astrology reading with Moonrabbit and was told that he would meet someone soon, he just didn’t think it would be me.)

Over the next year we became close and about a year after we met I asked him to marry me.  He accepted and we were married in August of 1994, consulting an astrologer friend for a good time and date.  Our wedding took place in my back yard and we had lots of friends and family in attendance.  We included many traditions: sharing bread (companion); lighting a unity candle; drinking wine and smashing the cup; exchanging rings.  To appease the trickster, the astrologer interrupted the ceremony just at the end (actually due to a miscalculation on our part with daylight savings time vs standard time once the invitations had all been sent out), and we waited an hour to complete the ceremony, which included jumping the broom; a hand fasting; and an Abram’s Circle dance by the Morris dancers for good luck.  We didn’t have a trip right away (I was still travelling a lot for work and had to go an a trip soon after). 

The next year, however, we took our first trip to Hawaii together.  Later that year we also took a fantastic trip to Africa.  Dan had spent several years in Ghana as a child and had always wanted to go back.  With all of the miles I had been racking up at work, we were able to get there using frequent flyer miles.  I told Dan that if I was going to Africa, I wanted to go on Safari so we spent 10 days in east Africa in Tanzania on safari, then flew across the continent to Ghana for another 10 days.   Dan was able to find all of the old places he spent as a child and then we went on a cultural tour of Ghana. 

Over the next 16 years we bought a house together, traveled, and built a life together.  On our 9th wedding anniversary went to Canada and got legally married with three other gay couples (including our very good friends Joe Agee and Andrew Bertke) at the Toronto World Science Fiction Convention.  Dan was so proud of the piece of paper saying we were legally married. 

While I had done quite a bit of Renaissance and English Country Dancing in my days with the Society of Creative Anachronism, Dan introduced me to the Morris Dancing community.  Dan had been doing Morris Dancing for many years before I met him, first with Minnesota Traditional Morris, then forming a new GLBT Morris Side: Moonwood Morris, where he acted both as the teacher and primary musician.  He learned the button accordion to play Morris music and when I met him he was a regular musician at Morris gatherings.  When we first met, Moonwood Morris has in decline, but Dan had started playing for Uptown-on-Calhoun Morris and got me involved with the team, where I still play drum for them.  He has many long-time friends in the Morris community. 

I introduced Dan to the Gay Science Fiction community.  While Dan was never much of a convention goer he did attend a few conventions with me.  He was also part of the North Country Gaylaxians book club where we would meet once a month to discuss a science fiction or fantasy book with gay content or something by a gay author.  We have many close friends in the GLBT science fiction community.

Over the years Dan’s interests changed: he studied Astrology in earnest, first with Moonrabbit, then by himself, and finally organizing a regular astrology Meet-up group, the Minneapolis Astrology Meetup.  He attended national and international astrology conferences, and started doing some teaching himself.  He was on the board of directors of STARS (Society for Teaching, Astrological Research & Study) in the twin cities and was the astrologer in residence at the Eye of Horus Bookstore. 

Dan also became more interested in doing outdoor activities.  He volunteered with the Minnesota Department of Natural Resources (DNR): annually participating in their frog and toad count, volunteering at various state parks and taking their Minnesota Master Naturalist classes. In fact Dan was the first person to complete all of the Minnesota Master Naturalist courses in the various biomes of the state and be awarded the Minnesota Master Naturalist title. 

Closer to home, Dan was one of the founders of the Friends of Diamond Lake (our home is on Diamond Lake), an organization dedicated to the clean up and preservation of this urban lake, where he was the membership secretary. 

The last several years he also became interested in kayaking.  He took several classes including learning about white water kayaking.  This last summer (2010) he organized a group of friends to go white water kayaking with him.

Dan worked at Hennepin County Medical center and was there for 19 years.  His last position was as a PSC (Station secretary) for the cardiac-renal floor.  While he only worked part-time, he was very well liked and got along with everyone.  He often did extra assignments from home, creating new forms or organizing work flow (his design for the logo for the floor won the design contest and is used on shirts and other identifying items for the floor).  His positive can-do attitude, easy smile  and gentle demeanor made him many friends at work. 

He was an amazing person.  He was kind, and had the most gentle of souls.  He gave of himself in his time organizing the astrology groups, the Friends of Diamond Lake, and volunteering at the DNR.  He always had a good word for everyone and was my best friend and lover.  I’d like to think that I made his life complete, I know he completed me.  I love you, Dan.